I am pretty damn useless with some very basic things in life.
I won't go into everything that I am pretty damn useless with because I'm sure this thing has a word count, but one of those very basic things is the inability to return library books on or before their due date.
Today I went to the local library. I was an sitting target because I couldn't locate my library card, and so I needed to go to the front desk.
The librarian politely informed me that I have not one but two accounts with outstanding books on both. Three books on my one account amounting to £8.35 and two books on the old account going back to August. The librarian didn't tell me how much that amounted to; I don't think she wanted to give me two blows in one day.
This is one of the Sandwell libraries. I never attempt to take a book out of Birmingham library because I am pretty sure I have two accounts with them, too, with overdue books on them.
I got it all sorted pretty quick (I always find librarians are lovely with me).
Curiosity got the better of me then. I pulled Just a Bit Of Banter, Like from the shelf and asked if she could check how many people had taken out the book I had written.
The librarian was suitably shocked. She did her best to camouflage her expression, bless her, but it undoubtedly read 'how has this guy who has two library accounts and can't remember to take books back written a book himself?'
It did make me chuckle, but in a nice way.
The librarian promised she will read the book herself 'now that he has met the author.'
Oh, and people have been taking my book out, which is a bonus.
And hopefully returning it on time, of course.
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