...you know you may have some problems with your new girlfriend when you ask her what her favourite position is, top or bottom, and she says that, no, its in the middle.
Sorry, I am just taking a quick break from the short story I am writing, which is going pretty well actually.
Oh, apart from the fact I drove to the library (my sanctuary) thinking my laptop was already in the car, and then drove home again when I realised that no, my laptop was not in my car.
But I am here now, and better get back to it...
Sunday, 9 March 2014
Spelll checker
The obvious problem with spell checker, without meaning to state the obvious, is that you need to at least have some sort of idea how to spell the word in the first place before it gives you some options!
Wednesday, 5 March 2014
Welsh Trip
Afternoon!
Going back to God's country tomorrow (yes, Wales!), to complete some more research on my current novel.
The plan of action is to drive back after work, stay at my mum and dad's tomorrow night in the tiny village, Wick (where I grew up), spend Friday with my notepad and camera in Porthawl (which is never recognised by spell-checker) and Merthyr, and then stay overnight at my best mate's gaff in the Garw valley Friday night.
Can't wait!
Going back to God's country tomorrow (yes, Wales!), to complete some more research on my current novel.
The plan of action is to drive back after work, stay at my mum and dad's tomorrow night in the tiny village, Wick (where I grew up), spend Friday with my notepad and camera in Porthawl (which is never recognised by spell-checker) and Merthyr, and then stay overnight at my best mate's gaff in the Garw valley Friday night.
Can't wait!
Saturday, 1 March 2014
'Work in progress...'
Oh, I've just had a moment on self-realisation, and I wanted to get it down quick before the moment passed.
I've realised that whenever I use the phrase 'its a work in progress' it actually means 'shit, I completely forgot about that and I better start working on it right away.'
I also realise I use the phrase 'its a work in progress' an awful lot.
Just be warned, in case I use the line on you...
I've realised that whenever I use the phrase 'its a work in progress' it actually means 'shit, I completely forgot about that and I better start working on it right away.'
I also realise I use the phrase 'its a work in progress' an awful lot.
Just be warned, in case I use the line on you...
Short Story Stumbling Block
Happy St David's Day!
I am in the library, with the primary aim of finishing a short story I'm working on.
I don't plan stories in great detail. I tend to work with an idea and see where the writing takes me.
The idea is that if the writer doesn't know where the words are taking him, the reader won't, either.
Now, this tends to work pretty well on the whole.
I say 'on the whole' of course, for a reason.
I'm stuck with my current story.
The basic idea is really good. There is mystery and intrigue in abundance. The premise is original. The pace is fast. I'm gripped.
But now I don't know where to take the story. I've been sitting here typing and deleting and typing and deleting and drinking coffee and...
Yeah, yeah, you get the idea, I know.
What I'm alluding to, though, is that I'm beginning to wonder whether this is a sign that if you 'fail to prepare, prepare to fail.'
Oh my days; what a cliché!
I'll update you with my thoughts in an hour or two, based on whether I've progressed with the story....!
I am in the library, with the primary aim of finishing a short story I'm working on.
I don't plan stories in great detail. I tend to work with an idea and see where the writing takes me.
The idea is that if the writer doesn't know where the words are taking him, the reader won't, either.
Now, this tends to work pretty well on the whole.
I say 'on the whole' of course, for a reason.
I'm stuck with my current story.
The basic idea is really good. There is mystery and intrigue in abundance. The premise is original. The pace is fast. I'm gripped.
But now I don't know where to take the story. I've been sitting here typing and deleting and typing and deleting and drinking coffee and...
Yeah, yeah, you get the idea, I know.
What I'm alluding to, though, is that I'm beginning to wonder whether this is a sign that if you 'fail to prepare, prepare to fail.'
Oh my days; what a cliché!
I'll update you with my thoughts in an hour or two, based on whether I've progressed with the story....!
Thursday, 27 February 2014
Library visit and overdue books
I am pretty damn useless with some very basic things in life.
I won't go into everything that I am pretty damn useless with because I'm sure this thing has a word count, but one of those very basic things is the inability to return library books on or before their due date.
Today I went to the local library. I was an sitting target because I couldn't locate my library card, and so I needed to go to the front desk.
The librarian politely informed me that I have not one but two accounts with outstanding books on both. Three books on my one account amounting to £8.35 and two books on the old account going back to August. The librarian didn't tell me how much that amounted to; I don't think she wanted to give me two blows in one day.
This is one of the Sandwell libraries. I never attempt to take a book out of Birmingham library because I am pretty sure I have two accounts with them, too, with overdue books on them.
I got it all sorted pretty quick (I always find librarians are lovely with me).
Curiosity got the better of me then. I pulled Just a Bit Of Banter, Like from the shelf and asked if she could check how many people had taken out the book I had written.
The librarian was suitably shocked. She did her best to camouflage her expression, bless her, but it undoubtedly read 'how has this guy who has two library accounts and can't remember to take books back written a book himself?'
It did make me chuckle, but in a nice way.
The librarian promised she will read the book herself 'now that he has met the author.'
Oh, and people have been taking my book out, which is a bonus.
And hopefully returning it on time, of course.
I won't go into everything that I am pretty damn useless with because I'm sure this thing has a word count, but one of those very basic things is the inability to return library books on or before their due date.
Today I went to the local library. I was an sitting target because I couldn't locate my library card, and so I needed to go to the front desk.
The librarian politely informed me that I have not one but two accounts with outstanding books on both. Three books on my one account amounting to £8.35 and two books on the old account going back to August. The librarian didn't tell me how much that amounted to; I don't think she wanted to give me two blows in one day.
This is one of the Sandwell libraries. I never attempt to take a book out of Birmingham library because I am pretty sure I have two accounts with them, too, with overdue books on them.
I got it all sorted pretty quick (I always find librarians are lovely with me).
Curiosity got the better of me then. I pulled Just a Bit Of Banter, Like from the shelf and asked if she could check how many people had taken out the book I had written.
The librarian was suitably shocked. She did her best to camouflage her expression, bless her, but it undoubtedly read 'how has this guy who has two library accounts and can't remember to take books back written a book himself?'
It did make me chuckle, but in a nice way.
The librarian promised she will read the book herself 'now that he has met the author.'
Oh, and people have been taking my book out, which is a bonus.
And hopefully returning it on time, of course.
The Technical Stuff
This blogging side of things is amazingly simple.
You just type in a box, press delete a few times and then type in a box again, press 'save' and 'publish' and Bob's Your Uncle/Fanny's Your Aunt, it appears live on the website.
Editing the actual website is a different matter, though.
For a start, my laptop doesn't like the website facility. It hasn't got an unhealthy personal vendetta against it (you know, like in a Jason Statham movie) or anything like that; it just freezes and shows no interesting whatsoever in thawing.
And so, I have to put an extra jumper on and dust down the PC in the back bedroom.
And that is where the fun begins.
Things move where they have no right moving. Things become smaller when they should be getting bigger (sound familiar?) Everything I touch is a disaster. I start tearing my hair out, and to be frank, its doing a pretty good job falling out on its own, thank you.
The voice on one shoulder tells me I could do it on my own, that I'm a perfectly capable, productive member of society. The voice on the other shoulder tells me that I'm a no-good, useless technophobe. The same voices which appear when I attempt to assemble an IKEA wardrobe.
Anyway, I took the easy option. I contacted Martyn, who put together the website in the first place. I blamed my tools. Made excuses. Asked for help.
The guy is great at these things (I've said this before but check out his website at bloodguts.co.uk) and overnight things have started appearing at the right size and in the right place.
Martyn, thank you. You have put those pesky voices to sleep.
(I've just wondered whether it is normal to have these voices. Do other people have them? If not, this piece is a work of fiction, the characters portrayed to not reflect real life...)
You just type in a box, press delete a few times and then type in a box again, press 'save' and 'publish' and Bob's Your Uncle/Fanny's Your Aunt, it appears live on the website.
Editing the actual website is a different matter, though.
For a start, my laptop doesn't like the website facility. It hasn't got an unhealthy personal vendetta against it (you know, like in a Jason Statham movie) or anything like that; it just freezes and shows no interesting whatsoever in thawing.
And so, I have to put an extra jumper on and dust down the PC in the back bedroom.
And that is where the fun begins.
Things move where they have no right moving. Things become smaller when they should be getting bigger (sound familiar?) Everything I touch is a disaster. I start tearing my hair out, and to be frank, its doing a pretty good job falling out on its own, thank you.
The voice on one shoulder tells me I could do it on my own, that I'm a perfectly capable, productive member of society. The voice on the other shoulder tells me that I'm a no-good, useless technophobe. The same voices which appear when I attempt to assemble an IKEA wardrobe.
Anyway, I took the easy option. I contacted Martyn, who put together the website in the first place. I blamed my tools. Made excuses. Asked for help.
The guy is great at these things (I've said this before but check out his website at bloodguts.co.uk) and overnight things have started appearing at the right size and in the right place.
Martyn, thank you. You have put those pesky voices to sleep.
(I've just wondered whether it is normal to have these voices. Do other people have them? If not, this piece is a work of fiction, the characters portrayed to not reflect real life...)
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