Thought of The Day

I'm not really into Thoughts of the Day, because usually people nod their heads wisely in agreement without having a clue what it means.

I remember somebody telling me once that he read a few pages of a philosophy book and he couldn't understand a word of it.
"It was brilliant," he said.
"But how do you know it was brilliant?" I asked. "You didn't understand a word of it."
"Exactly," he said.

Now you may think that was incredibly profound, but I've studied it from every possible angle and I still conclude that this was a dumb-ass trying in vain to be intelligent.

Anyway, I'm going to be a complete hypocrite now. I was watching Undercover Boss Canada yesterday and a young lady who had transformed her life beyond recognition had the following statement tattooed on her arm -

"I know who I am and I know who I could be if I choose to be."

I did like that.
And I think I understood it, too.

Jigsaw Pieces

The pieces of the jigsaw are all over the place, to be honest.
There are so many pieces and the difficult part is knowing where to start.

I need to work on my characters. They have names. They have bodies. They have faces. And yet I need to develop personalities which make them unique, flawed and yet ultimately endearing. I need to study my settings (welsh vallleys, Porthcawl, Merthyr) and my eras (seventies onwards). And I need to know comedy like the back of my hand.

I'm a bit overwhelmed, to be honest.

But at least I do have some pieces and I have a plan.
I have completed enough research to start my drafting next week.
It will all piece together, honest.


I

It's All About the Comedy

I am sat in the Birmingham Library on one of their really comfortable hard plastic chairs (yes, sarcasm). And I am taking a break to give you an update on my new book.

It is going reasonably well, thank you for asking.

I use the word 'reasonably' with care as I don't feel I have moved out of first gear yet.
But I have managed to secure Saturday's for writing and here I am in the library, and I was here last week and the week before and I see no reason why I shouldn't be here next week, either.
I have booked a comedy club night for 7th March and I have secured an interview with one of the performers, the brilliant Eddy Brimson.

Ah, yes, I haven't told you what the book is about yet, have I?
The book follows the trials and tribulations of a trio of stand-up comedians.
I won't delve too deep here. I just propose you think about the potential the premise has...

And so, I need to know stand-up like the back of my hand. I was about to make a joke about knowing the back of my hand really well, but I'm sure I've used a joke about that before. I've been reading books and watching videos but that is only going to touch the surface. To really understand comedy, I need to roll up my sleeves and really live and breathe comedy. So I am going to shows. A whole lot of them. And that just has to include the home of alternative comedy, The Comedy Store in Leicester Square. But even that is only observing comedy. It isn't really getting involved and understanding it from a comic's perspective.

My big idea is to actually perform in Open Mic Nights.

That really is a daunting, scary prospect, but that is just another reason to do it. I need to understand just how daunting and scary comedy is.

Talk is cheap though, and at the moment all I am doing is talking (although admittedly I am sounding impressively tough). I will let you know when I have booked a night and then the talking can stop (hopefully not when I am up on stage, though, tongue-tied).

It won't feel like I have moved from first gear until I actually start the writing part.

In two weeks time I hope to be able to tell you that I am in second gear, moving swiftly into third...
.

The Big Plan

That title sounds very deep and meaningful, doesn't it?
Like a manifesto for the future of everything.
Well, not quite. Don't go over the top, Chris.
I'm very into plans and schedules and To Do lists, not because I'm naturally very organised, but rather, because I'm naturally very disorganised.
Basically if I don't plan, then nothing gets done at all, or I end up doing a whole lot of things I shouldn't be doing and before I know it, I am yet another year older and all I have to show for it is less hair (and believe me, I am definitely losing my hair).

Now (as any good book on organisation and planning will tell you) all plans need to be realistic. It wasn't realistic to expect to be able to write too much when I had a little lovable baby rascal rolling all over the place (AJ has now upgraded from rolling to crawling, but he still makes the same amount of noise - and it is noise, not sound). And it still isn't realistic to devote too much time to writing when he is still eight months old, either, is it?

But I do plan to write a novel this year. I have a great premise and I am pretty darn excited about it (and I am not the excitable type - okay, maybe sometimes). I've started going to the library again on Saturdays (an agreement with my wife for giving her time for relaxation on Sundays), I've completed lots of research and now I'm in the plotting stage. If I keep to my (hopefully realistic) schedule, then March to October will be devoted to drafting and then November to January to editing.

I'm not Superman (stating the obvious, I don't have the physique and I don't fly) and so other things in my life will need to be relegated or removed. Realistically, there is always going to be some unexpected drama just around the corner, and I've taken this into account (see, I indicated that I can be organised when I want to be) but there just isn't room in my life for, say, keeping super fit or posting lots of photos on Facebook.

And so, by this time next year, I may be a bit boring and have a slightly flabby belly and have even less hair, but I will at least have created something that I am proud of and that can never be taken away.

Wow, I can be deep you know.

And I will try my best to keep my blog updated. It can at the very least be a log of how well I am progressing. If, in a year from now I am super fit and have lots of photos on Facebook but no completed novel then, quite rightly, you can say I only have myself to blame...

Review of Life is a Pirate Ship Run by a Velociraptor

Wow, had to re-check my spelling a few times for that title!

I was given an advance copy of Life is a Pirate Ship Run by a Veliciraptor, the latest offering from Allison Hawn, and I loved it!

The book is out today!

Here is my review:

Life is a Pirate Ship Run by a Velociraptor  is the second instalment of shorts  from the pen (or laptop) of Allison Hawn, following the same tried and tested format as Life is a Circus Run by a Platypus. There is no doubt that, simply put, Allison is a magnet for the weird and wonderful , and she chronicles her experiences and the wacky people she meets along the way in an incredibly funny compilation of shorts. Allison is the type of lady who would end up sitting to the weird guy on the bus who is compelled to tell his life story. But Allison thrives on it! Her analogies and one-liners are top-rate. Sometimes I re-read lines and think ‘why didn’t I think of that?’ How about ‘An ex is like a zebra carcass, only interesting from a safe distance, overall something you want to avoid and you hope is eventually eaten by a lion’ for a line? The book is full of them. I think Allison knew she was on to a good thing from the reaction to Life is a Circus and she has managed to improve on that with Life is a Pirate Ship. If you like books that are fast, funny and insightful, then this is definitely for you. 

Rare Bits - Free Offer

Today and tomorrow Rare Bits is free again! Make the most of this, folks!

Rare Bits - Free Offer

Today and tomorrow Rare Bits is free again! Make the most of this, folks!